But You, O Lord, who ever livest, and in whom nothing dies (since before the world was, and indeed before all that can be called before, You exist, and are the God and Lord of all Your creatures; and with You fixedly abide the causes of all unstable things, the unchanging sources of all things changeable, and the eternal reasons of all things unreasoning and temporal), tell me, Your suppliant, O God; tell, O merciful One, Your miserable servant — tell me whether my infancy succeeded another age of mine which had at that time perished. What miseries and mockeries did I then experience, when obedience to my teachers was set before me as proper to my boyhood, that I might flourish in this world, and distinguish myself in the science of speech, which should get me honour among men, and deceitful riches! And of a truth, there is no science of letters more innate than the writing of conscience— that he is doing unto another what he himself would not suffer. Inde in scholam datus sum, ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. After that I was put to school to get learning, of which I (worthless as I was) knew not what use there was; and yet, if slow to learn, I was flogged! Solum hominem nexum fore Dei et mundi, Hermes ipse philosophorum pater ad Esclapium scribens jam longe testatus est, eo quod intellectum divinum in se habet, per quem aliquando supra mundum ita elevatur ut etiam mundi materia sequatur conceptiones ejus. Did I not, then, growing out of the state of infancy, come to boyhood, or rather did it not come to me, and succeed to infancy? So speak that I may hear. Or, as nothing could exist without You, does whatever exists contain You? Not one whit more easily are the words learned for this vileness, but by their means is the vileness perpetrated with more confidence. Matthew 25:27 That You may owe, more than enough is given to You; yet who has anything that is not Yours? deus, deus meus, quas ibi miserias expertus sum et ludificationes, quandoquidem recte mihi vivere puero id proponebatur, obtemperare monentibus, ut in hoc saeculo florerem et excellerem linguosis artibus ad honorem hominum et falsas divitias famulantibus. I learned, indeed, in them many useful words; but these may be learned in things not vain, and that is the safe way for youths to walk in. Inde in scholam datus sum ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. Nay, Lord, nay, Lord; I entreat Your mercy, O my God. 28. Have compassion on me, that I may speak. Why, then, do I ask You to come into me, since I indeed exist, and could not exist if You were not in me? etlaudare te vult homo, aliqua portio creaturae tuae, et homo circumferens mortalitatem suam,circumferens testimonium peccati sui et testimonium quia superbis resistis; et tamen laudare te … Yet, as I have heard from my parents, from whose substance You formed me—for I myself cannot remember it—Your merciful comforts sustained me. . And did he by whom I was beaten do other than this, who, when he was overcome in any little controversy with a co-tutor, was more tormented by anger and envy than I when beaten by a playfellow in a match at ball? Man says this, and You have compassion on him; for You created him, but did not create the sin that is in him. Mothers and nurses tell us that they appease these things by I know not what remedies; and may this be taken for innocence, that when the fountain of milk is flowing fresh and abundant, one who has need should not be allowed to share it, though needing that nourishment to sustain life? For I existed even then; I lived, and felt, and was solicitous about my own well-being—a trace of that most mysterious unity from whence I had my being; I kept watch by my inner sense over the wholeness of my senses, and in these insignificant pursuits, and also in my thoughts on things insignificant, I learned to take pleasure in truth. What is it to me if any understand not? In ipsa pertransibunt omnes bestiae silvae, catuli leonum rugientes, ut rapiant et quaerant a Deo escam sibi. Oratio simplex. Neither let those cry out against me who buy or sell grammar-learning. 30. Behold, O Lord God, and behold patiently, as You are wont to do, how diligently the sons of men observe the conventional rules of letters and syllables, received from those who spoke prior to them, and yet neglect the eternal rules of everlasting salvation received from You, insomuch that he who practises or teaches the hereditary rules of pronunciation, if, contrary to grammatical usage, he should say, without aspirating the first letter, a uman being, will offend men more than if, in opposition to Your commandments, he, a human being, were to hate a human being. I erred, then, when as a boy I preferred those vain studies to those more profitable ones, or rather loved the one and hated the other. 2. Alas for the sins of men! Does not each little one, in whom I behold that which I do not remember of myself? 2. Let him rejoice even so, and rather love to discover in failing to discover, than in discovering not to discover You. In such a being what was not wonderful and praiseworthy? But this last restrains the overflowings of that freedom, through Your laws, O God—Your laws, from the ferule of the schoolmaster to the trials of the martyr, being effective to mingle for us a salutary bitter, calling us back to Yourself from the pernicious delights which allure us from You. Was there nothing else, too, on which I could exercise my wit and tongue? For who is Lord but the Lord? You love, and burn not; You are jealous, yet free from care; You repent, and have no sorrow; You are angry, yet serene; You change Your ways, leaving unchanged Your plans; You recover what You find, having yet never lost; You are never in want, while You rejoice in gain; You are never covetous, though requiring usury. 18. Hodie domi laboro; cras t For You caused me not to want more than You gave, and those who nourished me willingly to give me what You gave them. et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. For in Your eyes what was more infamous than I was already, displeasing even those like myself, deceiving with innumerable lies both tutor, and masters, and parents, from love of play, a desire to see frivolous spectacles, and a stage-stuck restlessness, to imitate them? Where do I call You to, since You are in me, or whence canst Thou come into me? But how numerous and great waves of temptation appeared to hang over me after my childhood! I do not blame the words, they being, as it were, choice and precious vessels, but the wine of error which was drunk in them to us by inebriated teachers; and unless we drank, we were beaten, without liberty of appeal to any sober judge. And how shall I call upon my God— my God and my Lord? Inde in scholam datus sum, ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. Et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. 19. Do I not read in you of Jove the thunderer and adulterer? Or, as they contain You not, do You fill them, and yet there remains something over? AUGUSTINI CONFESSIONUM LIBER PRIMUS1.1.1magnus es, domine, et laudabilis valde. Translated by J.G. inde in scholam datus sum ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. For when I learned vain things, You granted me Your discipline; and my sin in taking delight in those vanities, You have forgiven me. Yet, O my God, my life, my holy joy, what is this that I have said? Jeremiah 23:24. 17. Was it for my good that the reins were slackened, as it were, upon me for me to sin? 27. For when I call on Him I ask Him to come into me. How mysterious are You, who in silence dwellest on high, Isaiah 33:5 Thou God, the only great, who by an unwearied law dealest out the punishment of blindness to illicit desires! Or shall any man be skilful enough to fashion himself? 1. Or is it that You are wholly everywhere while nothing altogether contains You? Hannibal per asperrimos Alpium saltus iter sibi patefecit. Proverbs 21:31 This is what I have since discovered, as You have declared Yourself to me by the blessings both within me and without me which You have bestowed upon me. Alas! And man, being a part of Your creation, desires to praise You, man, who bears about with him his mortality, the witness of his sin, even the witness that You resist the proud, — yet man, this part of Your creation, desires to praise You. You move us to delight in praising You; for You have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in You. And when You hearded me not, giving me not over to folly thereby, my elders, yea, and my own parents too, who wished me no ill, laughed at my stripes, my then great and grievous ill. 15. And see how he excites himself to lust, as if by celestial authority, when he says:— Great Jove, Who shakes the highest heavens with his thunder, And I, poor mortal man, not do the same! Behold, Lord, the ears of my heart are before You; open them, and say unto my soul, I am your salvation. Inde in scholam datus sum ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esse ignorabam miser, et tamen si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. But all these are gifts of my God; I did not give them to myself; and they are good, and all these constitute myself. Tell me of Your compassion, O Lord my God, what You are to me. These were foreseen by my mother; and she preferred that the unformed clay should be exposed to them rather than the image itself. What am I to You that You demand my love, and unless I give it You art angry, and threatenest me with great sorrows? You pay debts while owing nothing; and when You forgive debts, lose nothing. Inde in scholam datus sum, ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. Your praise, Lord, Your praises might have supported the tendrils of my heart by Your Scriptures; so had it not been dragged away by these empty trifles, a shameful prey of the fowls of the air. . That infants are such I have been able to learn by watching them; and they, though unknowing, have better shown me that I was such an one than my nurses who knew it. For this was deemed praiseworthy by our forefathers; and many before us, passing the same course, had appointed beforehand for us these troublesome ways by which we were compelled to pass, multiplying labour and sorrow upon the sons of Adam. But You are the same; and all the things of tomorrow and the days yet to come, and all of yesterday and the days that are past, You will do today, You have done today. laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et … laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et dolore filiis Adam. For the vessels which You fill do not sustain You, since should they even be broken You will not be poured forth. Since, then, You fill heaven and earth, do they contain You? 3. Non quaerit diabolus homines infideles, non eos, qui foris sunt et quorum carnes rex in olla succendit Assyrius: de ecclesia Christi rapere festinat. And yet I erred, O Lord God, the Creator and Disposer of all things in Nature,— but of sin the Disposer only—I erred, O Lord my God, in doing contrary to the wishes of my parents and of those masters; for this learning which they (no matter for what motive) wished me to acquire, I might have put to good account afterwards. I could have wished him to transfer divine things to us. Hearken, O God! carnis et oculorum) to which he had yielded in the course of the narratives of Bks. Et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. But woe unto you, you stream of human custom! I remember this, and I afterwards observed how I first learned to speak, for my elders did not teach me words in any set method, as they did letters afterwards; but myself, when I was unable to say all I wished and to whomsoever I desired, by means of the whimperings and broken utterances and various motions of my limbs, which I used to enforce my wishes, repeated the sounds in my memory by the mind, O my God, which You gave me. On which, the mother of my flesh being much troubled—since she, with a heart pure in Your faith, travailed in birth Galatians 4:19 more lovingly for my eternal salvation—would, had I not quickly recovered, have without delay provided for my initiation and washing by Your life-giving sacraments, confessing You, O Lord Jesus, for the remission of sins. Yet were we compelled to stray in the footsteps of these poetic fictions, and to turn that into prose which the poet had said in verse. And for this I shed no tears, though I wept for Dido, who sought death at the sword's point, myself the while seeking the lowest of Your creatures— having forsaken You— earth tending to the earth; and if forbidden to read these things, how grieved would I feel that I was not permitted to read what grieved me. Cleanse me from my secret sins, O Lord, and keep Your servant from those of other men. 21. Thus I exchanged with those about me the signs by which we express our wishes, and advanced deeper into the stormy fellowship of human life, depending the while on the authority of parents, and the beck of elders. Or was it good, even for a time, to strive to get by crying that which, if given, would be hurtful— to be bitterly indignant that those who were free and its elders, and those to whom it owed its being, besides many others wiser than it, who would not give way to the nod of its good pleasure, were not subject unto it— to endeavour to harm, by struggling as much as it could, because those commands were not obeyed which only could have been obeyed to its hurt? This page was last modified on 31 May 2015, at 09:32. What I then did deserved rebuke; but as I could not understand those who rebuked me, neither custom nor reason suffered me to be rebuked. I did not love You, and committed fornication against You; and those around me thus sinning cried, Well done! I did it, and with all my heart I did it. But we found, O Lord, men praying to You, and we learned from them to conceive of You, according to our ability, to be some Great One, who was able (though not visible to our senses) to hear and help us. Or is there any other vein by which being and life runs into us save this, that You, O Lord, hast made us, with whom being and life are one, because You Yourself art being and life in the highest? And where do You pour forth that which remains of You when the heaven and earth are filled? 4. Thus by the instrumentality of those who did not well did You do well for me; and by my own sin You justly punished me. Great are You, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Your power, and of Your wisdom there is no end. Yet whence was this unless from the sin and vanity of this life? For no man does well against his will, even if that which he does be well. 11. Laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et dolore filiis Adam 52. et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. Who is ignorant of this? Et tamen, si segnis in descendo eram, vapulabam. This banner text can have markup.. web; books; video; audio; software; images; Toggle navigation Laudabatur enim hoc a majoribus; et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes, praestruxerant aerumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur, multiplicato labore et … So I cast about limbs and voice, making the few and feeble signs I could, like, though indeed not much like, unto what I wished; and when I was not satisfied— either not being understood, or because it would have been injurious to me— I grew indignant that my elders were not subject unto me, and that those on whom I had no claim did not wait on me, and avenged myself on them by tears. For lo, O Lord, my King and my God, for Your service be whatever useful thing I learned as a boy— for Your service what I speak, and write, and count. There was a time also when (as an infant) I knew no Latin; but this I acquired without any fear or tormenting, by merely taking notice, amid the blandishments of my nurses, the jests of those who smiled on me, and the sportiveness of those who toyed with me. Who shall stay your course? Romans 11:36 Even so, Lord; even so. Romans 10:14 And those who seek the Lord shall praise Him. But now, O my God, cry unto my soul; and let Your Truth say unto me, It is not so; it is not so; better much was that first teaching. ); and yet it did no longer abide, for I was no longer an infant that could not speak, but a chattering boy. If not, whence comes it that it is still dinned into our ears on all sides, Let him alone, let him act as he likes, for he is not yet baptized? For I disobeyed them not because I had chosen a better way, but from a fondness for play, loving the honour of victory in the matches, and to have my ears tickled with lying fables, in order that they might itch the more furiously— the same curiosity beaming more and more in my eyes for the shows and sports of my elders. Or perhaps we call on You that we may know You. It was, then, the stature of childhood that You, O our King, approved of as an emblem of humility when You said: Of such is the kingdom of heaven. Or, indeed, is there no need that You who contains all things should be contained of any, since those things which You fill You fill by containing them? 20. Hide not Your face from me. inde in scholam datus sum ut discerem litteras, in quibus quid utilitatis esset ignorabam miser. For he that knows You not may call upon You as other than You are. So, in truth, we should never have understood these words, golden shower, bosom, intrigue, highest heavens, and other words written in the same place, unless Terence had introduced a good-for-nothing youth upon the stage, setting up Jove as his example of lewdness:— Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn, Of Jove's descending in a golden shower To Danaë's bosom . But if I ask with what letters the name Æneas is written, all who have learned this will answer truly, in accordance with the conventional understanding men have arrived at as to these signs. Laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos uitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas uias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et … But it is true that over the entrance of the grammar school there hangs a veil; but this is not so much a sign of the majesty of the mystery, as of a covering for error. For thus will You preserve me; and those things which You have given me shall be developed and perfected, and I myself shall be with You, for from You is my being. Luke 15:11-32 So, then, in wanton, that is to say, in darkened affections, lies distance from Your face. Have I not confessed my transgressions unto You, O my God; and You have put away the iniquity of my heart? Et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam. Is this the innocence of childhood? În ceea ce privește persoana și personalitatea Fericitului Augustin, această operă este una de referință, deoarece scriitura acestui apologet creștin reflectă atât contextul istoric în care a trăit, cât și realitatea sufletului său. I believe, and therefore do I speak; Lord, You know. Is there any one, Lord, with so high a spirit, cleaving to You with so strong an affection— for even a kind of obtuseness may do that much— but is there, I say, any one who, by cleaving devoutly to You, is endowed with so great a courage that he can esteem lightly those racks and hooks, and varied tortures of the same sort, against which, throughout the whole world, men supplicate You with great fear, deriding those who most bitterly fear them, just as our parents derided the torments with which our masters punished us when we were boys? For in this lay my sin, that not in Him, but in His creatures— myself and the rest— I sought for pleasures, honours, and truths, falling thereby into sorrows, troubles, and errors. But if I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me, where, I pray you, O my God, where, Lord, or when was I, Your servant, innocent? Book Four 4.1.1-4.3.6; Teaching (at Carthage) 4.4.7-4.12.19; The death of a friend (at Thagaste) 4.13.20-4.16.31; Intellectual development (at Carthage) 4.1.1-4.3.6 portray A. at work as teacher, the prey of the variae cupiditates (4.1.1, sc. Whether you've loved the book or not, if you give your honest and detailed thoughts then people will find new books that are right for them. Laudabatur enim hoc a majoribus; et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes, præstruxerant ærumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur, multiplicato labore … But what matter of surprise is it that I was thus carried towards vanity, and went forth from You, O my God, when men were proposed to me to imitate, who, should they in relating any acts of theirs— not in themselves evil— be guilty of a barbarism or solecism, when censured for it became confounded; but when they made a full and ornate oration, in well-chosen words, concerning their own licentiousness, and were applauded for it, they boasted? 5. 29. A kind Father when You gave, and kinder still when he returned destitute! Laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et … 25. When they called anything by name, and moved the body towards it while they spoke, I saw and gathered that the thing they wished to point out was called by the name they then uttered; and that they did mean this was made plain by the motion of the body, even by the natural language of all nations expressed by the countenance, glance of the eye, movement of other members, and by the sound of the voice indicating the affections of the mind, as it seeks, possesses, rejects, or avoids. Yet perhaps even You deride me; but when You are turned to me You will have compassion on me. I did it, and with all my heart I did it. Still suffer me to speak before Your mercy— me, dust and ashes. 7. Laudabatur enim hoc a maioribus, et multi ante nos uitam istam agentes praestruxerant aerumnosas uias, per quas transire cogebamur multiplicato labore et … You may copy it Is, then, one part of You greater, another less? with a woman to intrigue. deus, deus meus, quas ibi miserias expertus sum et ludificationes, quandoquidem recte mihi vivere puero id proponebatur, obtemperare monentibus, ut in hoc saeculo florerem et excellerem linguosis artibus ad honorem hominum et falsas divitias famulantibus. But as regards bodily health, no one exclaims, Let him be more seriously wounded, for he is not yet cured! How much better, then, had it been for me to have been cured at once; and then, by my own and my friends' diligence, my soul's restored health had been kept safe in Your keeping, who gavest it! magna virtus tua et sapientiae tuae non est numerus. And even now You draw out of this vast deep the soul that seeks You and thirsts after Your delights, whose heart said unto You, I have sought Your face, Your face, Lord, will I seek. For of that something has been made known to me, and I have myself seen women with child. [88955] Guillelmus Wheatley, In De scholarium disciplina, pr. For the Latin I loved exceedingly— not what our first masters, but what the grammarians teach; for those primary lessons of reading, writing, and ciphering, I considered no less of a burden and a punishment than Greek. Laudabatur enim hoc a majoribus; et multi ante nos vitam istam agentes, præstruxerant ærumnosas vias, per quas transire cogebamur, multiplicato labore … Then, in the weakness of the infant's limbs, and not in its will, lies its innocency. Who will send You into my heart to inebriate it, so that I may forget my woes, and embrace You my only good? 8. 16. But yet, O Lord, to You, most excellent and most good, Thou Architect and Governor of the universe, thanks had been due unto You, our God, even had You willed that I should not survive my boyhood. monentibus, ut in hoc saeculo florerem, et excellerem linguosis artibus, ad honorem hominum et falsas divitias famulantibus. O Lord, my faith calls on You—that faith which You have imparted to me, which You have breathed into me through the incarnation of Your Son, through the ministry of Your preacher. Or how shall they believe without a preacher? For Homer also was skilled in inventing similar stories, and is most sweetly vain, yet was he disagreeable to me as a boy. For those who seek shall find Him, Matthew 7:7 and those who find Him shall praise Him. Et tamen, si segnis in discendo essem, vapulabam.

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